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Do you know that part in a movie when everything is going well - almost too good to be true? Then all of a sudden everything takes a turn for the worst? Yeah that moment for me was last night.
I wanted to go home and sleep, not burn over 700 calories in the pool doing Aqua Zumba -BUT- I really wanted to win this Fitbit Challenge against my coworkers this week, so I committed to stepping up.
Anyway, long story short - I struggled into my home late, arms full, completely exhausted, and for some odd reason, my shoe fell off my foot as I was struggling to get inside. I was able to pick it up with my socked foot but it fell again. I managed to get inside after my husband heard me struggling and came to help. He asked me: "Where were you?" His tone wasn't normal, it was more accusatory so mockingly I said, "At the Gym, Where were you?" and he snapped!
~flash forward through the awful details of an embarrassing fight, except for the one part where he said I was acting unstable and I picked up a chair and threw it down breaking it as I screamed, "Of course I am unstable - I haven't eaten anything in over a week and a half!" ~
So it turns out - the whole time I was at the gym, my cell phone was inside my jacket pocket inside a metal locker and our family tracker moved my position to what I am assuming is a cell tower 2 miles away - not the gym. He thought I was lying and cheating on him. He got all crazy so I got just as equally crazy back and started calling him immature names the whole time he is yelling at me and acting like a self-righteous nut job.
Anyway - I was too hurt, angry, crying, depressed, sad to go to the gym this morning to work out. I gave up. I don't even care if I lose this competition. It's not worth it. I was so proud of myself for pushing myself further this week than last week. Now I want to say screw all of my progress and go to an all I can eat buffet and binge eat my feelings into a depression coma then binge drink for days until I lose my job and get arrested, AND I want to chain smoke an entire carton of cigarettes all by myself... but I won't... that's just my addiction trying to take advantage of me feeling hurt and vulnerable right now. AND I am not going to let it win. I am stronger now because of this. I am also proud of myself for going to work instead of crawling into my bed and sleeping all weekend long.
By the way, the only thing helping me feel better right now besides my husband calling me to tell me he is sorry is COFFEE - and thinking about where in the United States coffee grows - and how in 25 days I will be deep in coffee bean farm country.
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2371 kcal
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Fat: 87.32g | Prot: 163.41g | Carbs: 224.64g.
Breakfast: Coffee, Hidden Valley Fat Free Ranch Dressing (Packet), Sour Cream, Cream Cheese, Great Value Medium Black Olives, Cauliflower, Broccoli. Lunch: Shop 'n Save Hamburger Dill Pickle Chips, Lowell Pickled Mushrooms, 365 Organic Jumbo Green Olives, Zing Zang Bloody Mary Mix, Ore-Ida Extra Crispy Golden Crinkles French Fried Potatoes. Dinner: Teriyaki Chicken, Sizzler Steak & Hibachi Chicken, Fried Rice. more...
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2245 kcal
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Exercise:
Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 8 hours, Desk Work - 8 hours. more...
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