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Having such a crappy day today. ☹️
Just feel bluh!!
Even though I have a stomach bug, I still feel like just eating some junk food today. So instead of eating my emotions & frustrations away, I am going to talk about it. I wanted to say sorry for the vent, but I am not going to apologize for being human.
My cup is empty! Every day people around me suck the life out of me. I give so much of myself to others, that there is nothing left of me at this point in time. I am just mentally drained. I want to throw my tablet in a very deep river at this point in time. I want to delete every social media platform I am on. I just want to be left alone FOR ONE DAY! Just one day that nobody wants something from me. I know I am extra irritated today, because I am not feeling well, but even telling people that I am feeling like shit, doesnt stop them from sucking my grey matter from my brain. I feel I always have to think for everybody. You should just call me Alexa from now on. Alexa Siri Google!
The people I PAY to make my life a little easier, does very little to do so. I have to think for them too. I am just sick and tired of people constantly wanting a piece of me. And God forbid you dont react to requests immediately, YOU WILL HEAR ABOUT IT! There are no boundaries and if you set boundaries, you are a bitch? Honestly, I just feel down right alone with all the responsibility of everything and everybody on my shoulders.
Tired of stupid questions with logical answers, but it is too much effort to think for yourself!
I am angry that my boundaries are not being respected!!!!
I am sad that it makes me feel that my feelings dont matter.
I am angry that I am being used!!!!
I am sad that there is no love lost between us.
I am angry that I have to raise an adult!!!!
I am sad that it has left me feeling very alone in the world.
I am angry that you do not respect my space!!!!
I am sad that my needs do not matter to you.
I am angry that you are irresponsible & leave me with your messes to clean!!!!
I am sad that I dont have a soft place to fall.
Always remember that sadness is masked by anger. (Just something I learned in life coaching)
ALL I wanted today was to have a quiet day off to myself.
ALL I wanted today was understanding that I am not feeling well and for ONCE not fuck everything up, because you cannot seem to use your grey matter and you prefer to use mine. Are you saving yours for old age????
THIS will not be the cause that I binge eat today.
THIS will not be the cause I cheat today.
THIS will not be the reason I say "fuck it"
Nobody else seems to give a shit; I owe it to myself to!
View Diet Calendar, 21 January 2020:
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1210 kcal
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Fat: 62.73g | Prot: 65.81g | Carbs: 100.22g.
Breakfast: Sugar, Coffee, Milk. Lunch: Watermelon, Clover Feta Plain, Sliced Ham. Dinner: Butter (Salted), Sea Harvest Hake Fillets, Sugar, Milk, Coffee, Deli Sliced Ham, Clover Feta Plain, Sasko Premium White Bread, Stork Country Spread. Snacks/Other: Sugar, Coffee, Milk. more...
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2997 kcal
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Exercise:
Watching TV/Computer - 5 hours, Resting - 11 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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1 to 20 of 27
 Comments
SO I WENT AND STUFFED MYSELF WITH A BOWL OF WATERMELON!!!!
I cannot eat any junk right now, even if I wanted to... *stuffed*
21 Jan 20 by member: CocaLola
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Hugs Lola. Hope your days improves. 🥰🙏
21 Jan 20 by member: wifey9707
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Thanx .... today is hard :(
21 Jan 20 by member: CocaLola
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Many days are hard. I remember 2016, every day was hard. Worse year of my life. So glad I didn’t give up or I’d not know the joy I have now. Don’t quit. Things never stay hard, maybe for a time but keep working at a better day. It will come. ❤️🙏
21 Jan 20 by member: wifey9707
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Thanks wifey. Appreciate your support.
The emotions, the stress, is what made this day hard. I have realized that I use food for comfort. Its not about the food. It's about me feeling trapped in a cage and being poked with a stick day in and day out.
Best to describe days like these; it's like an addict that needs a fix to get on with it. But a fix will only make it worse, because then I become resentful.
Then I go and eat bread! That makes me even more pissed off at the situation.
21 Jan 20 by member: CocaLola
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Lola, is there something you love to do and really enjoy? Besides eating? I relieve stress by cleaning, and funny enough, doing my nails, fingers or toes. 😂 Just think of something to ease your mind, relaxes you and brings cheer. As I am a born again Christian, the best help is prayer and Bible reading/meditating. Brings a calm like nothing else.
21 Jan 20 by member: wifey9707
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I am just tired of sharing my life with an adult that acts like a teenager!
And before anybody judges my entry; most of us that are very overweight do not have a "problem" with food. We have a problem dealing with emotions, be it angry, happy, sad, mad, depressed. We use to fill a void.
I started picking up weight after my mother passed away in 2012 (meeting my current partner the same year).
I am not writing these entries for sympathy. I am writing them to share my emotions, rather than stuff them down with food. xxxxx
21 Jan 20 by member: CocaLola
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"Brings a calm like nothing else" >> True Story!
Wifey I work long hours. I am a cake decorator by trade and own a cake decorating school & a cake decorating shop. All I do is work work work work work!
The little time I have to myself I just want to be alone and be LEFT ALONE! It's THAT EASY!
If I dont get time to recharge my battery, then I get "like this".
21 Jan 20 by member: CocaLola
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And some do the opposite and never eat when stressed. We all have our battles don’t we. It’s how we react to them is what I’m still striving to improve on. My best to you Lola. ❤️
21 Jan 20 by member: wifey9707
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So get alone. In a quiet or loud place, whatever your preference. And just do nothing. I love being bored. It’s rare, but I relate. I own and run a cleaning business. When I get to be home and do nothing...I love it!! Most people hate being bored. I look forward to it! 😂😂
21 Jan 20 by member: wifey9707
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Btw, totally unrelated topic. My cousin used to live in South Africa and married a beautiful girl there, had two daughters born there, and then moved to New York. I’m Canadian like he is, but I’m so proud of my South African family! 🤗❤️
21 Jan 20 by member: wifey9707
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@Coca i feel exactly how you feel right now today.... think this post was a very good idea and also so very helpful at the perfect time really....
just shows and learns me that i am not alone and not the only person feeling like this and not the only person fighting huge battles no one knows about.
Thank you soooo much for sharing this really helped me now emotionally A LOT.
You are a great person and you are loved and you are worth it. always remember that. ❤
21 Jan 20 by member: FitnessLicious
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Licious, in some odd way I was hoping it would help someone, because I know I am not alone. When I say I feel alone, I mean in my relationship and my day to day life.
I have 3 amazing sisters, great friends. I am not alone in my life, but alone in this relationship. I take on all the responsibility. He just comes along for the ride. Such an irresponsible chaotic personality. I cannot talk to him about worries and troubles, because HE IS THE WORRY & TROUBLE! And he knows exactly how I feel. He just cant be phased by it. Dealing with this day in and day out.... in my face 24 hours a day... I just cant anymore. :( I am passed the point of being depressed about it, now I am just angry all the time.
21 Jan 20 by member: CocaLola
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I hope you have a better day tomorrow. ❤️ (also, set boundaries- be a bitch, who cares? Do what’s best for you.)
21 Jan 20 by member: well rounded
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Thanx WR. Trust me, I set boundaries. It is like talking to myself.
I am a straight shooter. I don't beat around the bush.
It is just coming from all directions; my relationship, my clients, my students... its just non-stop all day every day. If I could just have some peace at home, time to recharge my battery, it will be great, but I don't. I can be nice about it; I can be rude about it. It is literally as if I am talking to myself?
Living with negativity around me 24/7 is also not helping.
You know that personality that thrives on negativity? That is what I wake up to every morning (complaining), what I have to hear all day long, what I come home to and what I go to bed with. Constant chaos. Constant negativity.
I cannot get away from it!
21 Jan 20 by member: CocaLola
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thinking off you I know it's hard
21 Jan 20 by member: lisa1905s
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you have got this CocaLola. l hope you have a better day today. look after yourself.
22 Jan 20 by member: MuffinTuffin
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Thanx Lisa xxx
Thanx MT xxx
Still feeling sick.
TICK FEVER backlash....
Very proud that I didnt run to food, even though I did have bread, which I have limited to once a week. BUT I DIDNT EAT ANY RUBBISH! I STAYED IN MY 1200cals.
Like I always say... IT'S A BAD DAY. NOT A BAD LIFE.
Thank you for the support. I got through a challenging day without EATING IT AWAY and most of that is because of the support here on FS. xxx
22 Jan 20 by member: CocaLola
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This too shall pass. Big hugs to you. Xxx
22 Jan 20 by member: anne-lisecalisse
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wow! you have been having a tough time. it will pass and you will go on.
But let's be honest, getting it off your chest was as good as eating an ice cream.
And good on you for drawing boundaries. People only do to us what we allow them to.
Social Media can be a very mean place. If your livelihood doesn't depend on it reduce the time spent or give yourself a week's break. I did it and my mind was a much quieter place. So much so that I closed my FB account.
23 Jan 20 by member: Petrusv78
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CocaLola's Weight History
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