davidsprincess's Journal, 28 Mar 22

This isn't to celebrate being overweight or unhealthy but I think that my thinking is pretty fucked up. I bash myself constantly. I hate my body. I say it in front of my teenage girls and I think I have them fucked up too. I have worked hard today to not insult myself and I am going to work hard to not comment negatively on anyone else's appearance. I need to do better for my kids and for myself. I read this last night on facebook and it was from the Eating Recovery Center and it spoke to me. I came to the realization that I spend probably 80-90% of my free time- that is any time not actively working- thinking about food, calories, being fat, what it will take to be thin, how to look better, and just eating in general. It isn't normal. This had 7 ways to be body positive and I am going to give it a try. Sorry this is so long. Read it or don't. ;)
1. Celebrate your body.
We can learn how to celebrate our bodies for all that they are and all that they do. It may sound and feel trite, awkward, or downright uncomfortable at first, but celebrating our bodies is the first step towards accepting our bodies. Our bodies are more than their ability to gain and lose weight, more than their ability to contort into the current fleeting beauty-ideal, and more than their ability to conform to society’s impossibly narrow standards. Our bodies swim, nap, canoe, run, watch marathon-length Netflix sessions, play video games, and more — they should be celebrated for what they do — not berated for how they appear.

2. Think positively, as much as possible.
Consciously counter every negative comment you think about your body with a positive comment. When you have lived with an eating disorder, negative comments about your body are in generous supply. In fact, it is likely easier for us to generate negative body comments than positive ones — which is why countering these statements is so crucial. For every disparaging thought you have about your body, take a moment to reflect on your body’s myriad positive aspects. When we focus on what our body does for us — how it aids us in living our lives—we are able to more effectively block out the negativity.

3. Be mindful with clothing.
Wear an article of clothing that makes you feel great, regardless of how you feel others may perceive you. In a world of “what not to wear” and “fashion police,” it is hard to feel comfortable in certain articles of clothing — especially with that added fear that someone may comment on your clothing. No matter how much you may like a piece of clothing, the ever-present fear of someone negatively commenting on your body will likely keep you from expressing your true self.

4. Focus on character — not appearances.
Compliment yourself and others on their character, not their body or appearance. All too often we’re greeted with, “You look so good. Did you lose weight?” Does that mean that, in order to look “good,” a person has to lose weight? Does it mean that they looked “bad” the last time you saw them? Does it mean that you’re only “good” if you lose weight? NO! Our bodies have absolutely no bearing on our worth as individuals — none. When we focus so intently on our perceived flaws, we will never be able to see the phenomenal aspects of our bodies or our character. By actively pointing the remarkable traits that are possessed by both ourselves and others, we are able to decrease the emphasize on body and appearance.

5. Respect yourself.
Respect your body’s needs: if it wants to move, move; if your body wants to rest, rest; if it wants to eat, eat; if it wants a massage, get a massage. It’s your body and you know its needs better than anyone else. Having needs is not a weakness — though society will actively work to convince you otherwise. Denying ourselves of our needs is not the strength we are lead to believe that it is. In addition, an eating disorder will actively work to persuade us that either 1) we have no needs or 2) we must ignore our needs. I’m here to say that all bodies have needs. A majority of recovery is recognizing what our body’s current needs are, and then effectively meeting them as a means to support and care for our bodies.

6. Become an activist.
We can spread body positivity by participating in body activism projects. I’ve joined myriad body positive groups on Facebook while simultaneously blocking “friends” who consistently post body-negative updates. In the grocery store, I turn around books and magazines that objectify bodies by promoting beauty ideals or the latest fad diets. If people can’t see them, they can’t buy them or fall victim to their propaganda. The diet industry makes over $60 billion annually by convincing us that something is so fundamentally flawed and wrong about us that we can only “fix’’ it by losing weight. But there is no “wrong” body. All bodies are good bodies, and we need not “fix” our bodies in order to be loved.

7. Believe that you are worthy.
I leave you with this: appreciate your body. It is all yours and you get only one. Your body is a masterpiece of creation, and there is no other body out there like yours —none. When the world seeks to mold you to fit their idea of worthiness–their narrow and impossible view of perfection — you sacrifice all the amazing attributes that make you unique and loved. We do not gain worthiness by conforming to the ways of others — giving up our true selves. Each time we strive to achieve the trivial and fleeting definition of worthiness, we give up a piece of what makes us extraordinary. You will gain worthiness each time you stand up for who you really are, each time you’re your authentic self in the face of adversity, and each time you hold true to your values.

View Diet Calendar, 28 March 2022:
1964 kcal Fat: 93.65g | Prot: 50.88g | Carbs: 242.95g.   Breakfast: Peanut Butter, Thomas' Bagel Thins - Plain, Coffee. Lunch: Meijer Triple Chocolate Creme Cake, Broccoli Salad, Meijer Spicy Breaded Chicken Sandwich. Snacks/Other: White Bread, Peanut Butter, Best Choice Jumbo Marshmallow, 1% Fat Milk, Post Honey-Comb Cereal. more...

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Comments 
I love that you posted this and many of us here needed this. A lot of folks struggle with body positivity and relate it to "celebrating being overweight". You are beautiful DP, and you're allowed to feel that way and also want to work out and eat different foods to become healthier. I hope this works for you! and I might also screenshot it like PinayRN did 😆 
28 Mar 22 by member: Asarver
Thanks for sharing. Good stuff 
28 Mar 22 by member: KAT 25
One word: "YES!" 😀😀😀😀😀 
29 Mar 22 by member: chrisw77
❤️7. Believe that you are worthy.(This one is so important.)  
29 Mar 22 by member: Brigit0
You choose what to think about. Make it something positive that is not "all about you", then make that something positive a habit. 
29 Mar 22 by member: Pegster8
Thanks everyone! Diablo Melissa. I can't name everyone because I just woke up and need to get to the coffee pot and gym but I appreciate your comments. Yes Petra... Made perfect sense! Thank you! Yes Chris, yes! Thanks guys. Day 2 of loving me starts now. Happy Tuesday!  
29 Mar 22 by member: davidsprincess
Very nice post and such great points. I also wonder about becoming to obsessive and letting the numbers of food or scale dictate everything and overshadow everything.  
29 Mar 22 by member: liv001
I see you have so many comments that echo how I feel about this post so I will just add a simple comment. Excellent post DP. 💜💜💜💜💜💜 
29 Mar 22 by member: Diana 1234
Thank you for your sharing 
29 Mar 22 by member: Holly@9106
Thank you, this post really hit home, and even though I am now well under my goal weight I am so negative about my body. Will definitely be taking up the advice and do my best to love my body no matter what society ideals are. Best of luck on your journey!! 
29 Mar 22 by member: CharmaineSchmidt
Yup…me too…thanks  
29 Mar 22 by member: Sarah1950
I scrolled through your postings and found this after reading today’s post. That’s a lot of deep thinking; I’m sorry but I never realized you felt such negative thoughts about your body. It’s certainly true that excessive emphasis is put on appearance. I know I personally should pay more attention to both my literal and my figurative hearts than I do to the exterior of my body. On the other hand, I’m predisposed to gaining weight and there seems to be no limit if I don’t try to stop it. And my feet already hurt. But some of my injuries came from lack of patience, which in turn came from over emphasizing the need to lose fat and gain muscle. ”Happy medium” is a great goal, but it’s difficult, too. 
29 Mar 22 by member: TomLong
 
29 Mar 22 by member: SherryeB
Join the club. I want to be the right weight to keep myself mobile. I want to be fit enough to walk without heaving and yet I crave the comfort of bread 🙄  
30 Mar 22 by member: Fleebus
I just saw this and love,love, love this advice. I feel like you have my story. I’ve been on the same journey. Once I realized how OBSESSED I am with food it’s gotten easier to let go. Seeing you workout actually got me to workout because I wanted to be strong like you. My body changing was an afterthought. You completely inspired me! 
10 Apr 22 by member: Shake Those Pounds
Thank you, Shake Those Pounds! That was nice to hear! (Read)  
10 Apr 22 by member: davidsprincess

     
 

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