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did lower body workout yesterday afternoon, today I'm resting. On the dysfunctional relationship front, I agreed to get back together with him because of survival, though I'm not blindsided by false promises, and hollow words: i'm still leary, observant, and cautious. He was hounding me daily about getting back together; that was his only goal. It's been less than a week since I agreed as long as he continues working on his own mental health, annnd he missed his first therapy appointment...(A new one is scheduled Monday) I'm noticing things springing back to normal rather fast- Example: i expressed frustration about the stress from kids, and he immediately starting talking about a new tattoo idea has...i can't force him to show me compassion. I just need to bide my time until I can leave. He still hasn't scheduled any couples therapy; that was his priority when we were broken up. I guess it's not now that HE got what HE wants. He continues to make decisions for me: he bought me clothes that he wants me to wear, ordered for me at drive thru, does not heed my words when I said it was a weightlifting day, and prioritized his other stuff instead. One thing I noticed that I have ignored in past is he doesn't anspire to stay on track with healthy habits and rather encourages unhealthy habits; drinking alcohol, staying up late, eating junk, not exercising....etc.
all in all, this has contributed to my weight loss plateau. The stress of pretending and fighting against his nonsense is exhausting. I wanna do what I know to be good and wholesome, regardless of his choices... that is very hard to do. I am motivated for my goals, that is what I need to stay focused on.
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85.4 kg
Lost so far: 13.1 kg.
Still to go: 0 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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View Diet Calendar, 16 September 2023:
Gaining 5.1 kg a Week
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