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haven't walked past couple days. Today is weight lifting. Yesterday, I took the my kids to the pool.....first time all year! Moment we get there my oldest disappeared and found his friends. That is nice, and makes me happy. It's been a year and a week since I've talked to my mother and she was there sun bathing with a friend. I was extremely hesitant to talked to her but she started a conversation first. A very excited CIAO! like we were just friends that hadn't seen each other in a long time. It's normal for me, she's always been a wave that comes and goes in her sober and drunk moments. It's confusing.
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87.6 kg
Lost so far: 10.8 kg.
Still to go: 0 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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Gaining 0.6 kg a Week
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 Comments
Gosh, sounds like your life can be very challenging at times. Hugs.
30 Jun 23 by member: -MorticiaAddams
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Thanks Morticia, it was, now I have this indifference to it.. She had disappeared for 4-5 years before; from 7th grade to when I was a senior. It was strange to me when my friend said that isn't what normal moms do...I was like "they don't?"
30 Jun 23 by member: DAZEY_iz_Well
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That’s a sad situation with your mom. I’ll pray she can be changed and the future will bring healing to you both Dazey. 💟
02 Jul 23 by member: wifey9707
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As someone who always had a.......difficult relationship with my mother, I get the self doubt and confusion that goes on when one day they are present and pleasant to be around and the next day hostile, demanding and abusive. It tends to make you a little crazy. Trust that you are enough, those mixed signals she sends are really not about you even though it feels like it. Mine is gone now, she's at peace finally and I know I did my best for her while she was here. The fact that it was never appreciated or acknowledged stung for a bit, but little by little I'm letting it go. Healing takes time. Enjoy your children and give them all the love you missed. Indifference is good, right up till they act like they want a real relationship and you get your hopes up, then you are crushed again when it's just a ploy to get your guard down. Ahhh, it makes me tear up still when I think about it. Just know you are not alone.
03 Jul 23 by member: debrafrederick
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debrafrederick- its a good feeling to know we are not alot in this. Toxic/Narcissistic mothers are a complicated dynamic to address, and fully believe it's contributed to me having Complex PTSD and ADHD. No contact brought alot of relief. During our talk she put my husband down and we barely chatted for an hour. I know she won't change, and I choose my husband over her any day. She plays the role of Noni real well but it's a facade.
03 Jul 23 by member: DAZEY_iz_Well
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DAZEY_iz_Well's Weight History
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