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“I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles” ― Audrey Hepburn
So I didnt lose much, but a loss is a loss. I will take it. I know that I havent been eating on plan, so I know that is why I am not losing like I should and have been in the past. Its such a transitional time for me right now, though, and I dont use that an an excuse, but Im learning how to handle a lot of new responsibility and there are times its easier to drive through Burger King than it is to come home and make a burger patty with all the fixin's. I just need to get up and get my head back in the game. I will say, though, that I am nearly 200lbs lighter than I was last Christmas, so that is a win no matter how you look at it!! I am excited to be where I am, even if I am tripping up a lot here lately, I am still better off than I was!
I had two job interviews with JB Hunt, and I really felt good about them. Now, its just a matter of waiting to see what they thought. They had me there for 2 hours, and at one point I was sitting with an employee learning the job and what he did during the day. I feel like they wouldnt have wasted his time and mine doing that if they werent interested, but you just never know. Im so stressed out about the job thing, because I am so unhappy where I am at. I feel like I have failed in that aspect of my life, I am at a dead end and dont know where to go from here.
I know that I am not an absolute failure, I have such good things in my life. I have a family who loves me, I have a community here who are so supportive and caring, I have friends who love me. Its just, when a person looks at you and asks what you do, it makes you feel like a loser when you dont have a real career to tell them about. I dont believe that a person is made up of their career or paycheck, but the world views success as that and its a hard pill to swallow when you look at your life and see that you have gone nowhere. I dont know, I guess I am looking at it too critically, I just need to let life take me where it will. God has a plan, and whatever that plan is, is good enough for me!
Aside from my 9-5, I have a little Ebay thing on the side, it doesnt make much, just enough to supplement when we want to take a trip or need a little extra. Its helped a ton with Christmas presents this year. Unfortunately, the store that we always went to to buy things for our Ebay got in some trouble with the state recently and got shut down for tax evasion. All of their inventory was seized and will be auctioned off. It sucks, they had some really great deals. They would buy Amazon liquidation pallets and then sell the items inside for $5.00, meaning, whatever was in there was a steal. Sometimes it would be xBoxes and Nintendos, sometimes it would be kitchen gadgets, just all sorts of things. It was a great place to go, and it sucks that they are shut down now. We will have to go back to buying from the Goodwill and Salvation Army, which is what we started out doing.
Anyway, my sister is having a rough day with my nephew and I think she is going to drop by. I am going to close this with a prayer for guidance and patience. I pray that the Lord watches over us all, leading us in the direction that he would have us go, watching over us and helping make the right choices in life. I pray for patience for myself, I pray for the worrying and stress to ease and be replaced with joy and a heart of worship. I pray for all of us to lean on Him for support and guidance. I pray for success and victory over all of the demons in our lives. I pray love and comfort over each and every one of us. Thank you Lord for this community of people who want to help, who guide and who push each other to be better. In your Holy Name I pray, Amen!!
Be good to each other! Love one another and support each other. Give kicks in the butt when needed, but always remember that everyone struggles, so be gentle. I love you all!!
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153.5 kg
Lost so far: 75.6 kg.
Still to go: 40.1 kg.
Diet followed: Poorly.
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View Diet Calendar, 16 December 2018:
Losing 0.1 kg a Week
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