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Spiderbaby.jb
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Weight History
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28 September 2016
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04 February 2016
I am yo-yo-ing. This is not good. Yesterday my belly felt as if I could be pregnant. But I'm not.
My lips are dry, I have no energy. I feel bloated and my legs feel swollen. I had a huge argument with my bf over the fact that I have not lost any weight--even though I was down 4kgs since start of Jan. I picked up 1kg in 2 weeks. He says I am too lazy to take charge and exercise and I make excuses. He is right, but he is still an asshole about the way he approaches it.
I want to go run- but I feel awkward and ashamed. I feel like I am in someone else's body. I kinda just want to sleep or float in the pool and stare at the sky. I want to feel sexy and confident again. I want to be able to look at my butt in the mirror like when I used to run and get a little turned on by how shapely and round and smooth it was.
I want to do this but I also want to give up. He means well but he sucks at motivation. He says he has been motivating me. His method is brief praise with an immediate follow-up of how far I still need to go and what I should be doing. I love him but right now he is sabotaging the little progress I have made by wanting too much too fast. He has never been overweight. He was an athlete his whole life. He doesn't get it.
Anyway, this is not some sympathy post. I just wanted to rant a little. Send stuff out there. Maybe it helps. F***it.
(5 comments)
20 January 2016
Steady does it....
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13 January 2016
Starting my dedicated new routine along with my first cycle of the year...A happy cleansing coincidence :). Cranberry juice will help with the water retention.
I am looking forward to not failing. I have, however, set my goal to losing 20kgs instead of 15. Why aim for almost there when I can aim for the ideal?!
And I will go running today. Because I can.
My mantra for the year:
"You’re never too old, never too bad, never too late and never too sick to start from the scratch once again."– Bikram Choudhury
Other Stats:
BMI: 31.1 (Moderately Obese)
Body Fat %: 38.8 (Obese)
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05 January 2016
The UK is fattening. SA is healthy and whole and warm.
(1 comment)
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