JeanPant's Journal, 02 Jul 22

I've reached a point in my life where I just don't want to go out anymore and be seen. I hate my body and when I go out, I'm forever always in the middle of trying to do something new to lose weight. Only thing is, it never works and I'm never consistent. My husband and I love watching the rugby together. He loves watching it in the bar. But there's SOOOO many people there. Some who have seen me literally half the weight I am now. ☹️ I'm just so fuckn sad and full of self-hatred now. Even if I do something about my weight and it works, it will be mannny months before I or anyone else sees a difference. Some have said "Wow, You have gained a lot of weight." "Your cat has gained weight, taking after it's owner." I know it's silly comments and shouldn't be taken serious. But don't you think I hate myself already? Don't you think I've tried?

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